The memories are endless...I could spend countless days going over the many wonderful memories I have of Uncle Mike. But I will share this one of many because it is the most recent and the most heartfelt. Last year I was in the midst of yet another battle with cancer. This time it was renal cell carcinoma and I had to get my left kidney removed because it was riddled with cancer. On the morning of my nephrectomy, I went to Queens hospital here in Hawaii to get prepped. After they had prepared me and I was waiting for the surgeon to arrive, a nurse came into my stall and said, "You have family here to see you." I knew that I had arrived alone as I always do and that no one knew that I was scheduled for surgery so I said, "No...I have no family here." That was when I heard a voice from beyond the door yelling, "Motu! O Uncle Mike!" And I had to laugh. Who else would show up to sit with me and make me laugh before surgery at 5:00 in the morning? Who else but Uncle Mike could show up that early looking so sharp with a smile that lit up the room? I even jokingly told him that his cologne was a welcome change from the hospital odors and he laughed and said, "Ua iloa fo'i le tama e le mafai on alu i se mea 'ae le ready!" Lol! Somehow he knew that as private as I am, no one else would be there. But he made sure to show up and laugh with me and tell jokes and keep my spirits up at perhaps one of the lowest points in my life. Before they wheeled me away he said, "G-d bless you Motu." That is the Uncle Mike that I remember most. What a kind and loving spirit he had. He never forgot to ask after all of my sons and grandsons. He always wanted to know how they were doing and it was always...always...so very genuine.
I could never see him smile without seeing my own mother's smile. Conversations with him about G-d, family and friends were always long and funny and warm. I loved him...and I knew he loved me too. Three days before he passed away my granddaughter was born and I was collecting pics of her to share with him the next time I saw him because he even often asked me about the baby's health long before she was born. It breaks my heart to know that I will never be able to share with him this new chapter of my life. Yesterday I was looking at old family photos and came across my worn and aged baptismal certificate from when I was a month old. There, at the bottom right hand corner was Uncle Mike's signature where the word 'Godfather' was entered....I still cannot believe that he's gone...a part of me still hopes that the phone will ring and I will answer and it will be Uncle Mike laughing and asking me what I'm doing.
They say that you cannot choose your family. You can only choose your friends. I was enormously fortunate in my relationship with Uncle Mike in that he was both. My uncle and my friend. I miss him tremendously and am heartbroken that any other grandchildren I have will never get to know him but at the same time I cannot help but feel such overwhelming gratefulness in having had him in my life....he was beautiful inside and out. Blessed be his memory.
Taupale Motu Tolai
