Mary Findlay's Obituary
Mary Edythe Findlay of Steilacoom, Washington unexpectedly passed away on Saturday, December 1, 2018.
Born March 29th, 1952, she was the daughter of Leland Stanford and Margaret Robischon Findlay. She is survived by her daughter Sarah Zenz of Mercer Island, Sarah’s husband Eric and their son Connor, former husband BG David Fastabend of Williamsburg, VA, and her mother Marge Findlay and five younger siblings: Patrick, Michael, Richard, Robert, and Eileen. Mary was predeceased by her father Leland.
Mary grew up in upstate New York in the small hamlet of Hinckley. She was the perfect daughter and the take charge older sister to her five siblings. The Findlay family lived four houses from the church, a mile from the lake, and ten miles from school. Mary stood out in high school due to her charm, beauty, and caring personality. She moved to Newburgh, NY, where she earned both a Bachelor and Master Degree from Mount Saint Mary’s College, and met David Fastabend at West Point, her future husband for over 30 years. Throughout her time as a military spouse Mary nearly single-handedly raised Sarah while caring for the many soldiers, spouses, and children she met during their many assignments around the world. All this while living 25 years longer than the doctors predicted by fighting and winning a life-threatening health issue.
As everyone who met her knows, Mary dedicated her life to her family, the military service members, and her community. She was a selfless mother, wife, and mother-in-law, loving grandmother, caring daughter, generous sister and sister-in-law, and doting aunt. Mary moved to Washington in 2009 to be near Sarah, Eric, and Connor, the love of her life. Mary could be found every weekend doting over Connor. He meant the world to her in these past six years.
Mary was also actively involved in the community. She adapted to the challenging lifestyle of a military spouse, earning Masters Degrees in Library Sciences, English and Education, teaching under the most challenging conditions while continuing to support David during their assignments. Mary also loved to cook for others. She was an outstanding chef, and always cooked four times over the required amount so she could then donate meals to the local military police at her post.
Seeing the challenges of the many service members transitioning to the civilian world after harsh combat deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, Mary founded Suits for Service Members. She was personally responsible for providing over 10,000 high quality business suits for men and women leaving the Service. She was a member of Association of the United States Army, Daughters of the American Revolution, Daughters of Norway, Kiwanis, Memorial member Steilacoom Historic Museum Association (SHMA), Immaculate Conception Catholic Church -Steilacoom, supporter of soldiers and families, children and our schools. She was recently recognized for “Outstanding Civilian Service to the United States Army” and “AUSA 6th Region President’s Medal for Distinguished Service.”
Memorial Services will be conducted at 1:00 PM Saturday, December 8th at the North Fort Chapel on Joint Base Lewis-McChord, near Steilacoom, Washington. Entry and quick processing to the Memorial will be at the North Fort Gate on I-5. Please register for the event here: https://everloved.com/memorial/mary-findlay.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Association of the United States Army (Capt Meriwether Lewis Chapter, AUSA) in Mary’s name.
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