Lottie "Charlotte" Jane Bender's Obituary
Lottie "Charlotte" Jane Bender, age 94, went home to heaven to be with the Lord on Tuesday, December 12, 2023, in Steilacoom, WA. She was lovingly cared for by her family and amazing caregivers Nene and Star.
Born Lottie Gilliam to Orbin Gilliam and Lottie Sams on October 6, 1929, in Rockcastle County on a farm in the beautiful hills of Kentucky, she was named after her mother, Lottie, who died in childbirth. From that point forward Lottie was lovingly raised by her father, her grandma Sams, all her sisters and brothers, and extended family. She often told stories of growing up in Kentucky and from those stories you knew she was the apple of her father’s eye and doted on by all of her family. Lottie left Livingston, Kentucky, to attend high school at Berea, Kentucky, graduating in 1947.
From that point forward her life became a whirlwind of adventure and hard work. She was about to embark on a lifetime as an army wife. 2nd LT John (Jack) A. Bender was a recent West Point graduate in training at Fort Riley, Kansas. When Lottie was visiting her sister, Marge, and her husband, Benny, in Fort Riley, Jack and Lottie met. They were later married on March 17, 1950, at the Ft. Benning, Georgia chapel. From that time forward until 1979 Lottie and Jack experienced 23 moves in Europe and the United States and in that period raised their four wonderful children. Lottie withstood two difficult separations while Jack fought in Korea in 1950-51 and Vietnam in 1966-67. During Jack’s Korean deployment Lottie stayed with her sister Irene and husband Bob and attended the Richmond Professional Institute. During his Vietnamese deployment, Lottie lived with her four children in Lakewood, Washington. Thereafter, the highlights of their assignments before Jack retired included Fort Richardson, Alaska, Washington, D.C., and, finally, Fort Lewis, Washington.
As an army wife Lottie was actively involved in entertaining and supporting the wives of other army officers in Jack’s commands. She also volunteered for the Red Cross Army Community Services, the Republican party, and as an election poll worker. Later in life she became an ombudsperson for the elderly, visiting various adult family homes in Lakewood and Dupont WA. Sometime during the 1970s, Lottie changed her fist name legally to Charlotte.
Charlotte loved to beachcomb (collecting hundreds of agates!) on the beach at the house she and Jack had built in Nisqually overlooking beautiful Puget Sound. She was an expert weaver, sewer, and gardner. She had her own business, Mallard Cove Herbs (named after her home on Puget Sound), which she started with her daughter-in-law Sue. She grew an array of herbs and created beautifully crafted wreaths. She also made potpourri, soaps, and baths salts. Jack was an avid supporter of her business. They worked together in their large garden, spending many weekends going around to different herb farms to purchase plants for Charlotte’s garden.
After Jack passed away in 2000, Charlotte relocated to Steilacoom, WA, to be closer to family and because she had always loved the town. For the next 23 years she built a life in Steilacoom attending Oberlin Congregational church (now Steilacoom Community Church), where she made numerous lasting friendships.
Charlotte (Nanny, Grandma) was a constant in her grandchildren's lives and made lasting memories with them that they will always cherish. Charlotte is preceded in death by her husband, John A. Bender, and grandson Arthur. She is survived by her children: John Arthur Bender Jr. and wife Deborah, Mark Eric Bender and wife Ann, Wendy Washburn, and Matthew Ward Bender and wife Sue, as well as her beloved grandchildren John Taylor Bender, Grace Pittman, Matthew Bender, Emma and Zoe Washburn, and 4 great grandchildren—Bowie, Lottie, and Heidi Bender, and Hadley Pittman.
Charlotte was one of a kind; and as Alexis, grandson Matt's wife, once told her:
"I aspire to be as quick-witted and full of zest as you are!”
A celebration of Charlotte's wonderful life will be held at Steilacoom Community Church, January 2 , 2024, @1 PM. She will be interred at Tahoma National Cemetery along side Jack at a later date.
Funeral arrangements have been faithfully entrusted to Mountain View Funeral Home, located at 4100 Steilacoom Blvd. SW, Lakewood, WA, 98499. For any inquiries, please contact the funeral home at (253) 584-0252.
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