Mom, it took me forever to finally be able to sign this. ive been meaning to for a long time but everytime i come here i cant do it. things get harder as everyday goes by. i miss you and i dont ever know what im doing with my life anymore, i have so many questions i need to ask you and keep finding myself lost without you. Im not the only who needs you, Bernadette needs you too, and JayC, and Noah and Hailey, and most of all Fred, i wish there was a way i could bring you back, even if it was for a day, i need to see you again, in person, i keep having nightmares about that night and it kills me everytime. my eyes are forever scarred with what i saw on that night, i dont know what to do without you Mom, you always said you be there for me growing up, but just because i turned 18 doesnt mean im grown up yet, i still need you here, im lost without you, i dont even feel the strength in me to move on, i just want to give up and let go of myself, but i know i would disappoint you by doing that, i almost cant wait til its my day to go just so i can see you again. you and Clara are the only 2 people i had that i could tell anything to and not have to worry about being judged or you getting mad at me, and now you're gone and i cant talk to about my problems anymore, and Clara cares but im not so sure she understands what i feel right now, only because she cant relate to how i feel.
To everyone who knew my mom and loved her, i thank you because you were the reason she kept going everyday and got up in the morning, she loved life and her friends and family meant the world to me.
And to Fred, you are the man i respect most on this planet, i thank you and i love you for the way you treated my mom, she was crazy about you and she talked about you like i would talk about how great you were and i love knowing that she met the man of her dreams and found the thing that completed her life before her time was up.
I love you and i miss you mom, you will forever remain in your own special place in my heart.##imported-begin##Eric##imported-end##