Elaine F. Woolery's Obituary
Elaine Frances Woolery passed peacefully in her sleep October 5, 2022 after complications related to cancer. Born in Tacoma, WA on June 1, 1941, Elaine lived a life full of love, commitment, and giving for and to family and friends unequivocally. If you were not part of the Woolery family or extensive circle of friends; she readily welcomed you with open arms, a hearty laugh, a hug, and quite possibly a cold Olympia beer just as her husband John (JW) would have done.
Elaine was pre-deceased in her death by her husband of 50 years; John R. Woolery Sr. (JW). Now, they are together again.
Forever closest in her heart was her love for and nurturing of her friends, children, and grandchildren with memories made of bowling, going to the beach, and seeing the softness of sunsets while listening to country music. Quite simply, a life well lived for the good times.
Elaine is survived by her children: John Woolery Jr. “Jack” (Val), Mark Woolery, Paula Degraw (Farron), and Donna Knight (Bill). She is also survived by her grandchildren: Davyn Degraw, Joey Miller (Sierra), Hannah Phillips, Sandi Cox (Bill), Greg Stalnaker (Sherry), Jeff Stalnaker (April), and Stephanie Song (Shawn). In addition, she is survived by a host of nieces, nephews, and close friends, with a special warm and loving embrace for friends of this and the next lifetime: Gayle Erickson, Donna Ross, Rick & Judy Oneal, and George & Judy Grissom.
A celebration of life will be held in The Aspen Chapel at Mountain View Memorial Park on Sunday October 30, 2022 at 11:30 AM followed by a toast to the memory of John & Elaine at Paradise Bowl and Entertainment Center at 3:00 PM.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests contributions to “Feeding America’s Hungry Children” or a cancer foundation of your choice.
ELAINE / OHANA
DEAN:
OPEN
HERSELF
ABSOLUTE
NEXUS
ACRIMONY
PAULA:
OPPORTUNE
HAPPY
AFFECTIONATE
NEEDED
ADMIRABLE
ME:
OUTGOING
HARSH (AT TIMES)
ACCEPTING
NAUGHTY
AWARE
DONNA:
OUTSPOKEN
HUMBLE
AMAZING
NURTURING
ALWAYS – AS IN THERE WHEN NEEDED
GOOD MORNING FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND LOVED ONES.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE TODAY TO CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF OUR MOTHER – ELAINE FRANCES WOOLERY.
ON BEHALF OF MY FAMILY AND I, WE APPRECIATE YOUR BEING HERE TODAY.
AS WITH ALL FUNERALS AND OR CELEBRATIONS OF LIFE, THERE IS GENERALLY A LONG-WINDED SPEAKER DELVERING A MOVING EULOGY. UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU ALL, THAT IS ME TODAY.
I HAVE WRITTEN AND SPOKEN ”THE WORD” MANY TIMES BEFORE IN PUBLIC AND AT MILITARY EVENTS, SOCIALS, AND FUNERAL EULOGIES. DOING SO TODAY IS A DIFFICULT STRUGGLE AS I TRY MY BEST TO CAPTURE THE LIFE OF A REMARKABLE WOMAN. SO PLEASE, BEAR WITH ME.
THE DICTIONARY DESCRIBES THE WORD “OHANA” AS TO BE PART OF THE HAWAIIAN OR POLYNESIAN CULTURE. IN THE CONCEPT THAT “OHANA” MEANS FAMILY IN AN EXTENDED SENSE OF THE TERM TO INCLUDE BLOOD RELATED, ADOPTIVE, AND OR OTHER – IT EMPHASIZES THAT FAMILIES ARE BOUND TOGETHER AND MEMBERS MUST COOPERATE, LOVE, CHERISH, AND CARE FOR ONE ANOTHER.
THE DICTIONARY GOES ON FURTHER TO DESCRIBE THE WORD “FRIEND” IN MANY VARIED AND VAST TERMS AND USES. A FRIEND IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE AND WHO LOVES YOU. SOMEONE YOU RESPECT AND WHO RESPECTS YOU. SOMEONE YOU TRUST AND WHO TRUSTS YOU. A FRIEND IS LOYAL.
AND IF THAT FRIEND WELCOMES YOU INTO HER OWN PERSONAL “OHANA” AS FAMILY, THEN YOU KNOW YOU WERE SPECIAL AND LOVED.
ALL OF YOU HERE TODAY WERE PART OF ELAINES “OHANA”. YOUR PRESENCE HERE IS SENDING HER YOUR LOVE, YOUR FRIENDSHIP, AND YOUR JOY UPON THE WINGS OF AN ANGEL; TO SIT BESIDE AND BE WITH HER IN HEAVEN TODAY AND FOREVER AFTER.
I REACHED OUT TO OUR FAMILY FOR ONE WORD THAT TO THEM RELATED TO ELAINE AND HER INNER SPIRIT OF “OHANA”. LISTEN AND REFLECT AND PICTURE HER IN YOUR MEMORY. WHAT EMOTIONS DO THESE WORDS OF LIFE STIR WITHIN YOUR OWN BEING?
O
OPEN – OPPORTUNE – OUTGOING – OUTSPOKEN
H
HERSELF -HAPPY – HARSH – HUMBLE
A
ABSOLUTE – AFFECTIONATE – ACCEPTING – AMAZING
N
NEXUS – NEEDED – NAUGHTY – NURTURING
A
ACRIMONY – ADMIRABLE – AWARE – ALWAYS
DO YOU GET THE SENSE THAT ELAINE WAS AND ALWAYS WILL REMAIN A REMARKABLE WOMAN?
TODAY WE HONOR ELAINE. MOTHER, GRAND MOTHER, SISTER, AUNT, NIECE, AND FRIEND. ELAINE IMPACTED EVERYONE SHE MET. TO HER CREDIT AND
HER BELIEF, EVERYONE WAS HER “OHANA”. EVERONE WAS WELCOMED AT HER DOOR AS PART OF HER FAMILY. BOUND TOGETHER THROUGH LOVE, THROUGH TRUST, THROUGH HAPPINESS, THROUGH SADNESS, AND THROUGH RESPECT.
TODAY IS A JOYOUS DAY. TODAY IS A GOOD DAY.
TODAY WE DELIVER ELAINE / MOM TO A PEACEFUL BETTER PLACE. NO MORE STRUGGLES. NO MORE WORRIES. NO MORE PAIN. NO MORE HAVING TO BE THERE FOR EVERYONE – FOR EVERYONE.
TODAY, ELAINE / MOM IS AT REST WITH A HIGHER POWER AND SITTING ALONGSIDE “JW”, MARVELING AT WHAT THEIR FAMILY HAS BECOME. AND PROBABLY DOING SO WITH A COLD OLYMPIA BEER OR A STIFF MACNAUGHTONS IN THEIR HANDS AND THOSE “SHEET” EATING GRINS THEY WOULD BOTH GET ON THEIR FACES. COME ON….I KNOW YOU ALL CAN SEE THOSE GRINS AND HEAR THEIR LAUGHTER NOW AS THEY SHARE THIS DAY WITH US.
DISTANCES, TIME APART, ETHNIC DIFFERENCES, IDEOLOGIES, AND BELIEFS. NONE OF THESE – NONE OF THESE PIECES OR PUZZLES OF LIFE PER SE SHOULD EVER ADVERSELY IMPACT ANY FRIENDSHIP OR ACCEPTANCE INTO ONES OWN “OHANA”. WHAT THEY SHOULD BE – WHAT THEY MUST BE ARE THE CORNERSTONES TO BUILD THAT FRIENDSHIP - THAT FAMILY “OHANA” UPON.
ELAINE OFTEN (BUT BE HONEST, NOT ALWAYS) TOOK ALL THESE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE OF LIFE TOGETHER TO FORM FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS THAT WERE MEANT TO STAND THE TEST OF TIME. WE AS PEOPLE UPON THIS EARTH ARE AS DIVERSE AND AS ABUNDANT AS THE GRAINS OF SAND UPON THE BEACHES, SHE LOVED TO WAK UPON AND WATCH THE SUN RISE AND SET.
LIFE CAN BE FULL OF LOVE. LIFE CAN BE FULL OF FUN AND HOPE AND DREAMS. LIFE CAN BE FULL OF GIVING OF YOURSELF TO OTHERS SO THAT THEY THEMSELVES ARE SHOWN THAT SOMEONE TRULY CARES AND LOVES THEM WITH ALL THEY CAN OFFER. ELAIN BELIEVED THAT IF YOU LOVED SOMEONE, YOU LOVED THEM UNCONDITIONALLY.
AND THAT IF YOU SHOWED THEM THEY WERE IMPORTANT AND THAT THEY WERE A FRIEND; THEN YOU NATURALLY BEGAN A LIFELONG COMMITMENT TO THAT PERSON TO INCLUDE: SHARING, RESPECT, TRUST, HAPPINESS, AND THE FEELING OF “OHANA”
IF I LEARNED ONE THING FROM ELAINE OVER ALMOST 55 YEARS ALONGSIDE OR AWAY FROM HER I LEARNED THAT
-
FRIENDSHIPS AND FAMILY AREN’T FOUND, THEY ARE DEVELOPED.
-
FRIENDSHIPS AND FAMILY LIKE “OHANA”, CAN BE HARD TO BIND TOGETHER.
-
FRIENDSHIPS AND FAMILY WILL BE TESTED TIME AND TIME AGAIN. THIS TEST CAN COME FROM DISTANCE, YEARS APART, LIFE CHANGES, AND OR EVEN LACK OF COMMUNICATION.
-
FRIENDSHIPS AND FAIMLY CAN BE HARDER TO MAINTAIN THAN A MARRIAGE. YOU MAY ASK – “WHY”. IT GOES BACK TO THAT PART OF BEING HONEST, RESPECTED, AND TRUSTED.
-
IF YOU LOVE AND HONOR A FRIEND AND A FAMILY MEMBER, YOU WILL AT TIMES JUST SIMPLY UPSET THEM THROUGH WORDS, THROUGH ACTIONS OR IN-ACTIONS. BUT A TRUE FRIEND AND OR FAMILY MEMBER WILL ALWAYS WORK THROUGH ANY DIFFERENCES AND TRY WITH ALL THEIR INNER BEILEF TO MAINTAIN THAT BELIEF IN THE ESSENCE OF THE “OHANA” – FAMILY.
MY DAUGHTER STEPHANIE SAID THAT GRANDMA AND GRANDPA ALWAYS MADE HER FEEL WELCOMED, REGARDLESS OF HOW LONG IT HAD BEEN SINCE SHE LAST SAW THEM – REGRARDLESS IF SHE HAD MISSED A HOLIDAY DINNER OR EVEN FORGOT A BIRTHDAY.
HER GRANDMA, OUR MOTHER, AND YOUR FRIEND ELAINE ALWAYS WELCOMED YOU INTO HER HEART.
BUT EVEN WITH HER HUGE HEART, ELAINE COULD BE STUBBORN, OPINIONATED, NOT EASILY SWAYED, AND WOULD OFTEN NOT LISTEN TO THOSE CLOSEST TO HER IN HER OWN LIFE.
I LEARNED FROM ELAINE THAT EVERYDAY IS A NEW DAY. I LEARNED FROM ELAINE THAT WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.
AND ONE OF MINE WOULD BE TO “NOT” STEAL OR BORROW FROM THE EULOGY I WROTE FOR OUR FRIEND AND FATHER – “JW” JUST A FEW YEARS AGO.
THE WORDS WRITTEN THEN – FOR HIM – ARE AS APPLICABLE TODAY TO ELAINE AS EVER. I WILL USE THEM NOW BECAUSE TODAY THEY ARE JOINED HAND IN HAND – IN LOVE – TOGETHER AGAIN. GOD REST THEIR SOULS AND GIVE THEM FOREVER PEACE.
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.
WE ALL DO UNJUSTS TO OTHERS.
WE ALL CREATE SOME BAD MEMORIES.
IT IS UNAVOIDABLE BECAUSE AS HUMAN BEINGS – AS MAN – AS WOMAN – AS BOY – AS GIRL; NONE OF US IS PERFECT. NONE OF US IS PERFECT.
BUT IT IS WHAT WE LEARN FROM OUR TIME ON EARTH THAT MAKES US WHO WE ARE. IT IS OUR ABILITY TO TAKE A BAD MEMORY AND MAKE A GOOD MEMORY THAT DEFINES US.
IT IS OUR IMPERFECT PERSON.
AND ELAINE – AS WITH DAD – WAS THAT GREAT IMPERFECT PERSON.
LIKE ALL OF US, SHE KNEW SHE HAD FAULTS. SHE ACCEPTED THEM.
LIKE ALL OF US, SHE KNEW SHE HAD FANTASTIC GIFTS IN HER HEART.
SHE SHARED THOSE GIFTS.
SHE SHARED THEM WITH EVERYONE.
SHE SHARED THE GIFT OF LOVE.
SHE SHARED THE GIFT OF GIVING. AND SAID WITH A LAUGH….YOU HAVE TO LOVE THOSE DAMN ONLINE CREDIT CARDS AND HER CONFUSED MOMENTS WITH INTERNET SHOPPING AND THAT DAMN CELL PHONE.
SHE SHARED THE GIFT OF LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
IS YOUR HEART AS BIG AND FULL OF LIFE AND LOVE AS ELAINE’S WAS?
I HOPE SO.
BECAUSE THEN YOU KNOW THAT ELAINE / MOM DIED HAPPY. SHE DIED WITH LOVE IN HER HEART FOR ALL OF YOU.
SHE DIED BRINGING YOU INTO HER “OHANA”.
SHE DIED AT PEACE AS THE PERFECT – I REPEAT-
THE PERFECT PERSON SHE BECAME IN DEATH.
SHE HAS BECOME WHOLE. SHE HAS FOUND PEACE
SHE HAS LEFT US WITH MEMORIES AND LESSONS TO SHAPE OUR LIVES – TO HELP US BECOME THAT PERFECT IMPERFECT PERSON.
IT IS HARD FOR ME TO WRITE OR SAY ANYMORE AND I PROMISED YOU ALL THAT I WOULD NOT RAMBLE.
COULD I – WELL DUH…I AM A WOOLERY AND IF YOU KNOW OUR “OHANA” THEN YOU KNOW OUR GIFT OF JUST TOTAL AND UTTER “BS”.
HOWEVER; THAT BEING SAID, OF MY OWN INTERPERSONAL AND SOMETIMES SELFISH SELF, I OFFER THIS TO MY SIBLINGS:
ALTHOUGH I OFTEN CONSIDERED AND SAID THAT ELAINE WAS ONLY EVER MY STEPMOM…I HAVE HENCE REALIZED THAT I HAD BEEN WRONG.
I WAS, HAVE BEEN, AND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN – JUST HER SON.
JUST HER SON
NO STEP.
NO ADOPTED.
NO PREAMBLE.
JUST SON.
SO GOODBYE MOM.
AND FOR MARK, DONNA, AND PAULA PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGIES. MOM WOULD NOT WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY. WE ARE THE CONTINUANCE OF HER “OHANA”.
I CLOSE WITH THIS:
LISTEN – LISTEN EVERYDAY TO EVERYONE YOU MEET.
LISTEN – LISTEN EVERYDAY TO THE SILENCE OF NOTHING.
LISTEN – LISTEN EVERYDAY TO YOURSELF. FEEL OBSERVE AND ENVELOP YOUR OWN INNER “OHANA”
LEARN – LEARN FROM EVERYONE YOU SPEAK WITH.
LEARN – LEARN FROM THE NOISE OF LIFE.
LEARN – LEARN FROM YOUR OWN HUMBLE SELF.
MOVE FORWARD – MOVE FORWARD TO GREET A STRANGER, TO LEND A HAND.
MOVE FORWARD – MOVE FORWARD. DO ALL. LIFE IS SHORT.
MOVE FORWARD – LISTEN, LEARN, SHARE, AND LOVE.
AND SHARE. QUITE SIMPLY, JUST SHARE.
SHARE THE “OHANA” IN YOUR HEART. ACCEPT OTHERS FOR WHOM THEY ARE. AND DON’T GIVE UP ON THEM. YOU AS A PERSON SET THE TONE OTHERS WILL LOOK UP TO.
ELAINE TOOK THE TIME TO POSITIVELY IMPACT ALL OF US. SHE TOOK THE TIME TO LOVE AND HONOR US ALL.
ELAINE TAUGHT US ALL TO NOT TAKE A FRIEND OR A FAMILY MEMBER FOR GRANTED. LIFE IS TOO SHORT, DO ALL YOU CAN TO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR “OHANA”.
DON’T WAIT FOR A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER. GO TO THEM – THEY ARE IMPORTANT. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM – AS ELAINE DID – UNCONDITIONALLY.
SO, AS YOU ALL LISTENED TO ME TODAY, I HOPE YOU LEARNED THAT WE CAN ALL MOVE FORWARD.
WE CAN ALL GET PAST THIS DAY.
REST IN PEACE ELAINE. SAY HELLO TO DAD AND GIVE HIM ONE BIG ASS HUG FROM ALL OF US.
WE ASK TOO THAT FROM TIME TO TIME YOU LOOK DOWN UPON US AND BE THAT GRAIN OF SAND ON THE BEACHES THAT WE ALL LOVE TO WALK UPON TO WATCH THE SUN RISE AND SET.
FOR YOU ARE:
OUR CANDLE IN THE WIND.
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