Well, today unfortunately, marks exactly 2 years that you've been gone; an entire 731 days. It's almost hard to fathom that it really has been that many days, all 731 of them.
Life is funny at times, but life is also very cruel as well. In terms of the, "funny," aspect, I mean that its funny how fast life passes by; literally right before your eyes. It only seems like yesterday that we were once little girls, running around, playing together, and without a worry in the world, besides maybe worrying when we'd get to see each other next. And what I mean in terms of the, "cruel," aspect, I mean that it's cruel just how fast your life flashes before ones eyes. Its essentially a, "Catch 22."
Unfortunately, when the, "Catch 22," is used in the context of comparison &/or correlation that's directly related to your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual absence, it really is, "funny," as well as, "cruel."
It's, "funny," because 26 years of our lives that we got to spend growing up together, went by so damn quickly. And the cruelty of it all, is that I'm not lucky enough to have another 26+ years to get to grow with you and spend with your presence.
Out of ALL of my other family members, friends and acquaintances that have passed (I've also endured MANY deaths since yours), your passing, is by far the one death that I cannot fully come to terms with; the one that I cannot fully accept, for whatever reason that may be. The one that has been the most difficult for me, and the one that I don't ever see myself, "getting over."
The grief of it all, has seemed to leave an emptiness in my life, Ashley. I think of you and have thought of you, every single day. Plainly and simply: I miss you. And I really, REALLY wish that things had turned out differently, and that you were still here with all of us; but I know that life was unexpectedly,supposed to occur this way. I just haven't been able to figure out over the last 2 years, the last 731 days, as to why?
I love you, Ashley; I'll love you forever. I remember you and our memories, and I'll cherish them forever. You were very special to me, and always were very special. My words that I have written, barely, scratches the surface on how much I immensely miss you or just how much your absence, has affected my life.
You are loved, and were loved, so much, Dear Cousin 💜 The next 731 days ahead, will be long and arduous. I simply hope that somewhere throughout the next 731, that I won't be as sad, and hopefully, won't shed as many tears. I hope that at least 1 day, out of the next 731, that when I'm reminiscing about you, I'll have more smiles 😊 instead of frowns 😔 accompanied with tears 💧
May you forever ✝️ Rest In Peace, Ashley Jane.
Love Always,
Your Cousin, Katie ❤️