Anonymous
hey brudy, how have u been? hopefully good up there with all our family members who have passed away. life has been really had wih out u. i seem to be so happy but i am not i feel like i am dieing inside. u held are family together and it has fallin apart. dad is haveing such a hard time moving on he holds all his pain inside and doesent really know that he is takeing his pain out on us. i love dad but it hurts talking to him knowing he is not the same and he will never be the same. i miss my dad and i miss my big brother. i see little sisters with there big brothers and it hurts knowing i don't have on here. i know u are in my heart and that u will never leave but it would be easier and way better if u where here in person. i don't let anybody walk over me i tell it how it is and i don't take crap from anybody not even dad. me and dad got into a fight and i punched him in his face, it felt good cuz i was able to let go of the fact that he has changed and that he will never be the same, i don't fight with him on the phone cuz he moved to utah. he's by u. maybe it will help him. mom is trying to hard to take care of me and ashawn but i can tell u we have been making life so hard on her i love her so much but when i get mad i don't know how to talk about it. i just yell and then feel bad cuz i have now right to treat her the way i have been.mom trys her hardest and when she feels like she is finally going to make it i push her hope back down cuz i can't get my hopes up like her. mom is so strong adam u wouldn't believe how strong she is she has stayed by are sides and has does everything she can for us. i can tell she hurts but i know i can't help her becuz i can't help myself. adam i hide everything i am feeling behide my laugter and my smile and i hope that nobody can tell so they will think i am strong. its working so far but i can't handle it anymore i just wanna cry so bad but i wanna be strong for mom. she lost her only son somebody who was always there to make her smile when shes down somebody that can make her happy when she sad. i try to do that but i am not u. that was your relationship with mom. adam my heart hurts cuz i am not helping mom at all i clean but then i go out and try to do stuff to take away the pain but its not helping anymore. i need to get a job and i need to quit doing all the bad stuff that i have been doing. i need help i can't ask god cuz he's busy with everybody else and busy with the people who hurt more than me. so i am asking u my big brother to please help me please. i can't go to family cuz they don't know how to help but i know u do please help me, mom, ashawn, amanda and dad we really need it nomatter if we don't wanna admit it. oh and your going to be an uncle but u already know that.lol just make sure the baby is safe and healthy. i love u adam and i miss u so much. i just wish that u where here. i love u.
R.I.P brudy!!!
love always,
ur little sister,
B.Alizabeth M. Staples##imported-begin##Ali##imported-end##